I think now is a better time than any to do a little life update on where I have been lately. I have said in the past that life has gotten in the way or life is extremely busy and time just fly's so I find it hard to sit down and blog, and that has always been true but no more than it is now. I apologise in advance if this post gets a bit rambly and hard to read, I am literally just going to write down what I am feeling and what has been going on in a matter of words and I already know that this post will be extremely hard to write.
Since around October/November time my life sort of turned around and got a lot harder. I decided to take my life into my own hands, be selfish and pretty much cut the crap. In a way my eyes were opened and I realised a few home truths about my surroundings and the people that were in my life. It was extremely hard, I still get emotional about it all now, but for once I had done something for myself to make myself happy rather than always putting other people first, and I know deep down that I made the right decision. After all, it took me long enough to realise. Around this time my Dad was going through a tough time too which let to numerous blood tests etc and last month we found out some pretty devastating news. The kind of news where you wake up the next day and think 'did I just dream that?' until you find your bearings again and face the fact that it is in fact all real. This means that for the next 6 months, at least, things are going to get even harder until we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
This news has hit me hard and it has certainly effected my personality, my health and even just my presence. I'm sure we've probably all been in a situation before where we just 'don't feel ourselves', we feel stuck in a rut or daze and don't know how to snap out of it. I sort of feel like I'm just here waiting for someone to tell me how I can get out of this negative box that I feel like I am living in, and when I try a snap out of it I end up smacking a wall and end up back at square one. Obviously, incase you hadn't guessed, this means I don't feel inspired, motivated or even bothered about updating my blog, which is really bad and I resent myself for feeling this way but I just can't help it. I am still on YouTube as I find it easier to film a video, edit and upload than sit and write out a blog post, strangely enough.
What I am trying to say is, I'm still here but I'm not all there which is why I won't be blogging as much as I have previously, and as much as I would like to. Things will get better and we will get through this, my Dad is so strong and positive I honestly don't know how he is doing it. Luckily we have amazing support from friends and family who are keeping us smiling and laughing, keeping us strong. So for anyone who knows me and my Dad and knows the situation, I just what to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn't still be smiling if it wasn't for all of you, you are the one's keeping me strong for my Dad.
Some people may not agree with this post but it is a fashion and lifestyle blog after all and I wanted you guys to know that this isn't it for Silent Sweetheart it might just be a little break, I'm not sure yet.
I hope you are all ok. Speak to you soon loves,